Gimme That Soft Cheese!

AI music is really a thing.

Ok, so Jen doesn’t like soft cheese, and won’t eat it. She thinks it smells like dirty feet. Fine! More for me.

So, I wrote a song about it. But I didn’t do it alone!

You cannot believe what AI music is, nowadays! If I hadn’t just done it, I would not believe it is possible. But it is. Take a listen.

I think this spells the end for humanity. I have no idea how this works, and I don’t think the guys who built it do, either. You don’t give the thing “instructions,” you give it “suggestions,” and it does what it wants.

And it doesn’t do the same thing twice! To make this song as coherent as it is, I had to generate 12 versions, which all came out weirdly different. I took parts of three versions and edited them together.

But notice at the end how the language breaks down! These things are not speaking, they are reproducing sound. How it holds together as well as it does, and how it mimics human expression as well as it does, is a mystery. And not a good mystery, like “why is there something instead of nothing?” A bad mystery like “My God! What have we done?!?”

But I have to say this is the most fun I have had in about 20 years. One of the offerings of the apocalypse appears to be the best toys that have ever existed in the Universe. You get what you pay for!

And now for a late-night snack of some Délice de Bourgogne, an actual cheese that exists in the real world, which is getting harder and harder to distinguish from the fevered constructions of our blasted minds! 😋

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Lyrics:

[VERSE]
I love soft cheese like a Camembert.
Don't ask for mine, I don't wanna share!
Some people say it smells like feet,
But I will eat and eat and eat.

[REFRAIN]
Gimme that soft, soft cheese!
Flowing like a breeze,
Snotty like a sneeze.
Gimme that soft, soft cheese.

[VERSE]
Can't get enough, but I'm gonna try!
Don't make me stop or you'll see me cry.
I need soft cheese like I need the air.
Go to the fridge and I'll meet you there!

[REFRAIN]

(Automatically generated AI-pseudo-language.)

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